Starting a Journey

So I haven't written on our blog in a long time, but things are different now than they were a year ago(or more). I want to write here so I can show family, friends, strangers and myself how amazing our God is! He is leading Steve and I in the direction of missions, which I never would have expected. I have maybe always had this desire, but never considered it seriously. People will tell you lots of things to be, but missionary is not usually one of them. In our world we need to go to college so we can get the best education so we can make the most money! Now that is generalizing, so don't take offensively if that is not you! I want my children growing up saying, "Lord, how can I serve you and what do you want me to do?" I read some of this in an Elizabeth Elliott book Keeping a Quiet Heart. It has stuck with me. We, from the time our kids can talk, ask our children "what do you want to be when you grow up?" I think we need to rephrase that question and ask the other I stated above.
Anyway, sorry, I got off my subject.
Two years ago on January 12, Steve's brother Jim went home to be with Jesus! He was a wonderful Christian man, who served the Lord in ways we didn't even know! We alway saw him as the strong man, godly father, loving husband, but we didn't always see his compassion. We knew it was there, just we didn't always see it when we were all together as a large family. When he was sick(before his body was so weak) he was so strong mentally to me and Steve. When he was getting all kinds of testing, he would say to me, "I am fine with whatever happens, God is in control and he will be enough for me." Those are not maybe his exact words, but close. He said he knew where he was going and if that is what was to be then he was ok with that. This is where our journey began, I think. At Jim's funeral, the men that spoke, spoke about the mission trips that Jim had been on and how strong he had been and compassionate to the people he was serving. He and Deb(his wife) had gone on several mission trips to Africa and other places (I'm not sure of all the places). They showed pictures of Jim holding tiny babies and other pictures of him serving. This made Steve want to make a difference, he wanted to continue the journey his brother had started. He wanted to make his brother's memory last. He loves his brother and misses him dearly. I often find him very quiet and then I know he is thinking of Jim. All these things were going on in my husbands mind about missions and I didn't even know it! (The Tiesenga men can hold alot inside themselves, it takes awhile for it to surface sometimes!)
In September of 2008, Tim and Angie Sliedrechts came and spoke at our church about their mission field in Uganda. We were so in awe of how the Lord was working thru them in Uganda, and we were overwhelmed by all the horrible things that were happening to the people in Uganda and how much they need the Lord. After church we went and talked to them about their life (I don't think I had ever done that before) . We said casually that we should form a trip from our church. Then we started keeping up with them through their blog or their newsletter and I did more thru my friend Kori (her and her husband support them). God placed them on our hearts, but we prayed, never thinking we could ever make the journey to Uganda. We have all kinds of excuses, we are too busy, we have little kids, we have no money!! All good reasons, right? Well sometimes it takes time, but if the Lord wants you to do something he will keep prodding.
In October of 2009 we helped our friends with a Ride for Refugees. This is a ride that raises money and awareness for refugees in Uganda, here in the US and anywhere really. This was another opportunity to be involved with Tim and Angie and learn about what they are doing. It was wonderful to serve at the ride! It was a great success and it was fabulous to see all these wonderful people giving of their time and money to ride in the rain. It was just a great experience. Our excitement grew for Uganda and our desire was heightened more.
Tim and Angie told our friends Glen and Kori that they should consider joining their team in Uganda and so we started talking to them about this and they said, we should considerate this too. It would be so much easier if we had friends to go with. So we started thinking about this. Lets go on a trip to Uganda and see what it is all about really. We decided that God was prompting us to explore this.
In December at a surprise birthday party for Glenn we all started talking about meeting and see when we could go to visit. I was so excited about this opportunity, I couldn't wait to meet and ask more questions.
On Friday, January 22nd we met with Tim and Angie. A new chapter in our journey. We are going to Uganda in May for a vision trip. Is this where the Lord wants us? We are anxious to find out! We have felt His guiding hand moving us in that direction. After meeting with the Sliedrechts, we both left feeling alot of emotions, excitement, nervousness, and so much more. I didn't sleep at all on Friday night, I was just too excited. On Saturday night I didn't sleep at all because I was gripped with fear. I was having a spiritually battle. The devil was saying how can you leave your kids for 2 weeks and more importantly how can you consider leaving your beloved family here if God is really calling you to long-term missions. How can I live without my mother and father and how can my kids survive without their wonderful cousins that they love so much! I can't do it Lord!!! I wanted to scream, I wanted to wake Steve up! I wanted to do anything but lay there with my thoughts. I prayed. God brought to my mind the fact that my family is His family. People who love Him and do His will. I will go where he wants us!!
I was very tired and mentally drained on Sunday, So many emotions!! Tears were right at the surface all morning, then Pastor Tom started to preach! Another confirmation!! Matthew 12:46-50 While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, "Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you."
He replied to him,"Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?" Pointing at his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother."
God confirmed my sleepless night! I can live in Uganda away from my earthly family. It may not be easy, but if that is where His will is then we will be fine. He is closer than a blood relative! Wow!! That is hard! Do I love My Savior as much as I love my family? I want to and I think I do, but Lord this is a hard test!!
So this is where we are at! We are planning a trip in May and we are getting very excited to see what the Lord has for us. Please pray that through this trip the Lord will make very clear to us if we need to be in Uganda! We trust that he will open or shut doors. We are trusting Him and His Word, not our feelings, to lead us in the direction we should go!
I think I need to quit writing and go spend some time with Steve! He is probably wondering what I am doing!
So Goodnight for now!